Our World
by Kitty Kat
Summary: What each of the girls were thinking when they commited suicide. Rated PG-13 for strong language. Please R/R because I'm not sure if I'm good w/ VS fics.
1. Cecilia

Our World  
A/N: Just pretty much what each of the girls' were thinking when they died.  
  
Cecilia  
  
Damn them. Fuck all of them. Ha, mom, you can't punish me for thinking something, can you? Well you know what Lux? I'm gonna take you up on your bet. You said that if I found a way to kill myself, you would do it in a year's time. Well guess what? It was easier than you thought. If I land just right, you'll be eating your words, won't you?  
  
Is this the reason I will be dead tonight, be fed to the fiery underworld? Yea, I guess I never have lost a bet. Well you know what? The devil's probably nicer than you, mother. You bitch. Ha, mom, I just called you a bitch. And as I stare into your cold gray eyes, I know that you can't do a damn thing about it.   
  
So now I'm trudging up the steps, making as big of a scene as I can. All of the guys are looking at me, aren't they Lux? Me, not you. I never attracted them, but I never wanted to. That was your deal. But even you can't take your eyes off of me, can you Lux?   
  
And what about you, Mary? I feel you staring at my back. Always parading around makeup in front of my face. And all this time, you didn't know that it wasn't makeup I wanted.   
  
I remember how you stood with us, Bonnie. It was Lux, me, and you. And later on, Mary and Therese came into the picture to make it more...dramatic I guess. But you and Lux hate it too, don't you? This life. This damn life. We humans are more like bugs than we think. We are born, some of us reproduce, then we die. Some of us are mendicants, some are prosperous in life's terms. But, you knew that none of that mattered, didn't you? You were never the shy one to me, you were the smart one.  
  
Therese, you always tried to take care of all of us. You were the last to agree to death for any of us. But when we explained how we hated mom and dad, and our teachers, and everyone on this God forsaken planet, you let us go. Then, in summing up your feelings, you said that you never let any of us do anything without you doing it, also. So, good luck sister.  
  
And now I've reached the landing. I look down the hall, and back down the stairs. I could just go back to the party. No, I remind myself, I've come too far. So, now I'm looking at the window. When I jump, I'll be jumping into the next world. The one where I can be myself, without people judging me by the scars on my wrist. But, they're right, aren't they? They see a depressed girl who felt death would be better than her hell on earth. And that's me.  
  
I leaped out the window. I felt the fence plunge through my heart. And you know what, I don't see a Goddamn light. Well, maybe that's because I'm not going to heaven. 


	2. Lux

Our World  
Lux  
  
I get the most modern way to die, at least. I hate to think this, since she's probably dead right now, but Bonnie's hanging idea was so medieval. And the booze and drugs idea was outdated in the 60's. Also, I couldn't stand the thought of burning my torso and head. But, Mary was always more courageous than me. I guess Cecilia had a good idea. After her wrists, she needed to know her plan wouldn't fail this time. And it didn't. Maybe I'll have to tell her that when I see her again. In about 4 minutes.  
  
I hear the boys screaming. Everything's going exactly to plan. "You can still save me," I whisper into the air. I laugh humorlessly. After seeing Bonnie's limp body hanging from the noose like that, I don't blame them for getting the hell away from here. And I don't want saved anyway.   
  
"Don't fear the reaper. Come on baby. Don't fear the reaper. Baby take my hand," I sing softly. "Romeo and Juliet...are together in eternity." I could feel the exhaust in my body. About three more minutes.  
  
Love. That's what it was all about for me. When Trip and I were, together, I thought maybe I'd screw the promise. I might actually run away with him. I was such a naive little girl then! I can't be happier that I grew out of that phase.  
  
And when mom and dad locked us up, I knew my sisters would come around. No one wants to live like how we were forced to live. God, mom's nuts. Just a psycho bitch. Hey mom, guess what? You're killing me here, litterally.  
  
Oh, and all the boys on the roof. I knew what we were doing today, and I knew I had to live all I could. And I did it just to amuse the guys across the street. They were fun to have around and mislead, until Bonnie started falling for them. That's why all this elaborate shit was set up. No one knew this except me.  
  
Still about two minutes left. Shit, I have to hurry up. I didn't plan the boys' reaction, thinking I would be dead. But what if they called the police? Oh, there is no chance in hell that I'm staying here with my bitch parents. Damn, I must breath faster.   
  
It's working now, I can feel it in my blood. No need to panic anymore. I'll just lay back on the seat and take a quick nap... 


	3. Bonnie

Our World  
Bonnie  
  
Therese is gone, we all watched her. So, there's no turning back now. But, I really don't want to die like this, right now at least. I love those boys, and Lux had to think of the only plan that would deceive them and make them hate us.  
  
If Lux hadn't chose the car as her final departure, I'd be half tempted to drive to Florida with them. We could have a great life. But, I know I could never do it, even if I could use the car. I couldn't abandon the promise Lux and I made to Cecilia the night of her brave attempt.  
  
Wonder if we'll make the news. Not like it'll matter when I'm gone, but you never know. Maybe being on the news will hit mom like an upper cut, or whatever terms those boxers use.   
  
It's around my neck now. This makes me feel like I did something noble, like rebelling against a king. But the truth is that I'm just a coward, and I give up when the going gets tough. But, I'm with my sisters.   
  
I want to write the boys a note, but I know it's to late. So instead of thinking anymore, which is only causing me pain, I'm kicking the box out from under me. I love you. 


	4. Mary

Our World  
Mary  
  
I'm doing this because I'm angry. Just goddammed angry at everyone on this fucking planet. The way they treated me like some outsider. I was never let inside the group, was I?  
  
So to all you fucking perfect cheerleaders, I'm doing this because of you. And because of you, mother and dad. Thus, let us not forget my sisters. Who I envied and ignored, loved and despised, but among all, I followed. The only reason the oven is warming up right now.  
  
And because of you, Trip. God the crush I had on you was unbelievable. And Susie told you, didn't she? So you went after my sister. And the day you came to my house, and when I snuck out and walked to your car, and well... You know what Trip? That was my first time! And I had to act like it never happened, and I couldn't tell anyone. It's supposed to be magical, Trip. Guess you never did know how to make a girl feel special.   
  
But I'm past you, and I'm past Lux's crying, and I'm past feeling. I just know I have to leave. Lux has been bothering me about feeling the most pain when I pass. She says Therese could make room on the bed. But, I know I want to feel pain. Because I haven't felt phsyical pain in the longest time.   
  
If we had the records back, I'd be playing KISS right now. But, no, mom thinks the music gives us bad ideas. Well, if it wasn't for her, we wouldn't be doing this. At least I didn't die a virgin.   
  
The physical pain is harsh, I know this because my head is in the oven. And it's really black. 


	5. Therese

Our World  
Therese  
  
I just washed the pills down with some bitter tasting alcohal.   
  
It's not that I think life was all that bad, not until Lux went around with that Trip. That was when our house turned into a high security women's prison. The food everywhere, the underwear strewn across everything, the dispicable odor. It was a hell hole. Lux made them make it as dirty as possible, she said that would be harder for mom. Lux had such a deep seeded hatred for mom. I know she got it from Cecilia.  
  
Lux always did have such an impression on all of us. Heck, even after Cecilia died and she was the youngest, we followed her around. I never was a leader. She told me that if I did the pills and booze, that I would have died like a famous rockstar. I know she's a liar, that I'm just a coward, but since I didn't want to go against her, I didn't speak up.   
  
We were always in our own little world. Well, every night Lux left for some asshole on the roof, but she'd always come back. Lux was like the king, ruling and dictating over all of us. Cecilia was like the princess, in that she told Lux what to do and Lux listened, half the time. Bonnie and I were just peasants, sitting, watching them take control of our life without saying a word. But Mary was the rebel. I've never figured out or asked why, but Mary never listened to Lux. She said Lux was a prick and that she wouldn't take orders from her little sister. Except for tonight. Because after they leave here, she's going to kill herself, too.  
  
I'm not really sure what to do now. I think I'm supposed to just wait, but I don't feel any different. Maybe I should take another pill, but I won't. Lux told me to wait and do nothing, so I'm waiting and doing nothing.  
  
I wonder what my sisters are doing now. Bonnie's probably in the noose, and the oven's probably warming up for Mary, and Lux is probably playing with the heads of the boys. Which was the one idea Bonnie protested. I didn't know why until this morning when Bonnie told me she loved them. She believed herself to be the maiden and them the knights, trying to rescue her. Lux told her to stop daydreaming. I have a feeling she's known for longer.  
  
But, right now, this is my time. I get to be first. So, Cecilia, make room for me. I'm coming. 


End file.
